If you’re angry and you know it…clap your hands!

Congratulations! You have taken the 1st step towards recovery!

Anger is in the air! Did you know that in Chinese medicine, anger is the emotion that is linked with the season of Spring, the color of green, and the liver organ? As temperatures rise, so can our buried emotions.

I’ve had several instances with clients and potential clients exhibiting anger recently, so I feel compelled to talk about this.

We all have childhood wounds, fears that don’t make any sense, and silly beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do anything right” or the ever-popular “I’m unworthy.” Most of us grew up in households where the adults around us taught us these things – without really “teaching” us. And they sure didn’t want to teach us this junk…it just happened. They showed us these things through their behavior. We picked these behaviors up, long before we were able to question them, and just soaked them in like a giant sponge with no filter.

I always wondered how my kids had my worst behaviors – it was like magic. I didn’t even sit them down to teach them properly, they just HAD them. Yikes!

So pay attention… if you don’t want to keep passing this junk on to the next generation, requiring them to seek counseling…you better figure out how to let this stuff go!

For those of us who soaked up the many nuances of anger, we learned some of the following traits:

• We are simply amazing at twisting around the words of other people, then using these words to add salt to the knife that we then plunge continually into ourselves. Then we blame the other person for continually hurting our feelings.
• We make silly, painful assumptions CONSTANTLY. And NONE of them are true. Really. Trust me on this one.
• We are actually afraid of making other people angry.
• We seek to get as many people on our side as possible…we want to feel RIGHT.
• The pain of our own self-hatred has us constantly searching to blame others for literally every single thing we can find wrong with our miserable lives.
• We LOOK for what is wrong in other people and the world around us.
• We seek vengeance.
• Our negative mental chatter is nearly debilitating.
• We wonder why our health, relationships, career & finances are a shambles. Someone or something else is always to blame. Blame helps us feel better for about a nano-second…and then it wears off and we feel bad again. Then we look for another scapegoat. We simply can’t take the pain of the truth – that we cause our own pain.

Fast-forward to adulthood, and now suddenly we have “become our ______ (mother/father/whomever).” We didn’t want to naturally display those nasty qualities…they just happened.

How do I know all of this? Been there. Done that. Have a few medals.

So…what the heck can a person do? No one wants to feel this junk! It’s like a self-imposed prison, in the middle of a forest, with no way out.

If I got through this junk, YOU can too! You just need to learn a few tools to reframe your thoughts and learn how to question ALL of your beliefs. It’s really a choice, but first you need to become more aware so you can choose differently.

Don’t think you can do this? Have you been keeping your excuses close by to use like a knee-jerk reaction…

• You don’t understand
• This is too difficult
• I can’t afford it
• I don’t have the energy
• I have _______ (insert your favorite label: Lyme Disease, PTSD, cancer, split personality disorder, depression, brown eyes, small hands, etc)
• I’m too busy

These are called ego excuses, and they allow you to avoid something that you actually want, but have an underlying fear about.

Here’s an example of something I’ve come across a LOT when working with sick clients. When I ask them what their goal is, they might say, “I want my life back” or “I want to be healthy.” We talk about what it would look like if their goal was realized, what that would feel like – maybe they could have better relationships, maybe they could socialize more, maybe they could spend more time with their kids or grandkids, maybe they could do a hobby that had to be put on hold while they were sick. In other words, we talk about their WHY.

Then I ask what are they possibly afraid of…what might happen if their ultimate goal was realized? If they had their health back, if they had their life back – what MIGHT happen?  …Crickets…

• They might no longer get attention
• Their significant other or caretaker might leave them
• They might need to go back to that crappy job
• What would they have to talk about?

And what potential health issues go hand-in-hand with holding on to anger? Here is the short list of what I have personally experienced plus several from clients:

• Decreased ability to detox/decreased liver function
• Chronic gallbladder attacks
• High blood pressure/decreased heart function
• Infections (Lyme Disease, MRSA, shingles, & other super fun rashes)
• Hot flashes
• Cancers/tumors

I know these symptoms sound like a ton of fun, but they actually suck. Why would anyone DO this to themselves? We don’t do it on purpose, we just aren’t aware of what we are doing. It’s like we are asleep at the wheel…

So, if you want to get to the bottom of this junk and finally move past it…let’s talk!

Ways I can help you

1. If this resonates with you and you are ready to move through all of this, I would love to help you! I teach you how to do all of this & more in my signature online program, Mastering Your Mindset For Women.
2. If you need to gather some more information on "the basics" of how you can use your mind to heal your body, your emotional stress & your relationships, click here to check out my selection of Free and Low-Cost Mini-Courses.
3. You can also set up a free, 30-minute chat with me to discuss options and if this would be a good fit for you. Click here to schedule.

Many Blessings,

Dr JoAnn Tully, Mind-Body Doctor, Mindset Coach

Click Here to Visit my Website