Is it Possible to Trust Again?

Trust is one of those topics that can bring up a lot of fear and anger within us. Rarely is someone calm and peaceful when they think of trust, because we tend to think about all of the ways our trust has been trampled upon.

  • I’ve been cheated on by my significant other.
  • The therapy my doctor recommended made me feel worse.
  • My caretaker stole money from me.
  • My co-worker stole my ideas.
  • My child lies to me.
  • My parent didn’t protect me.
  • My close friend broke a promise.

One online definition of trust is this: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

So “Who” or “What” is this someone or something that we placed our trust in, only to be hurt and disappointed by? The list can be quite long:

  • Love interest/Significant other
  • Close friend
  • Confidante
  • Boss
  • Co-worker
  • Neighbor
  • Caretaker
  • Parent
  • Child
  • Other relative
  • Doctor
  • Teacher
  • Celebrity
  • President
  • Government
  • Business
  • Product
  • Religion
  • God

Why we want to trust        

We grow up learning to place our trust in certain people and institutions (see above list).

We are taught from an early age that we can’t necessarily trust ourselves: we don’t have enough information, we aren’t old enough, we aren’t smart enough, we aren’t good enough, we can’t do anything right, we aren’t safe, we can’t make good decisions, etc. The list goes on and on.

In the world of mindset, we call this list of “why we can’t trust ourselves” ego excuses and beliefs. Our ego is afraid of being wrong. It wants to be right. It NEEDS to be right. If we don’t know something, it feels much easier and safer to give that responsibility to someone else. Anyone else. This way, when that “someone else” is wrong, guess what? It’s NOT our fault! We are not to blame. We are not responsible. This feels better to us…for about a nano-second.

We never learn to trust ourselves. We never learn to harness our own sense of clarity. We are not taught to practice connecting to our inner guidance system.

Search but never find

Without a sense of inner knowing and clarity, we search for this sense of security outside of ourselves. To paraphrase from A Course In Miracles: the ego’s job is to search, but to never find.

We continually search for someone or something to trust, which is like looking for love in all the wrong places. Trust, peace, joy, clarity, knowing, happiness, and health can ONLY be found by looking WITHIN our mind.

We all have access to these things that we deeply desire. And we have access to an infinite amount.

Our ego would have us believe that there is a limited amount of “knowing” to go around. Only some people have it, and you need to find those people.

But the truth is, we all have access to all the “knowing” we need. We just need to learn some new tools in order to access it.

How to trust again

In order to trust again, you have to get to a point where you are willing to see things differently. You must 1st see and understand that your ego beliefs about not being able to make your own decisions are nonsense.

In the world of Law of Attraction, we learn that you attract back to you the same energy which you give off. If you have ego beliefs about not being good enough, not being smart enough, can’t do anything right, then you will attract people into your life who will prove to you that your beliefs about yourself are “right.”

So, without realizing it, people who do not trust others actually don’t trust themselves. They have ego beliefs buried in their unconscious minds that are simply not true about themselves.

Once this realization settles in, only then can you go about learning to trust again. And learning to trust comes from learning to trust yourself before trusting others.

Someone who is connected with their true inner self, who is connected to their inner guidance system, is able to easily attract others that have any and all of the information that will help them. Someone who trusts themselves doesn’t attract people who will abuse them. Someone who trusts themselves doesn’t attract people or institutions that will take advantage of them.

So what’s the bottom line on trust? Get connected with who you really are. Discover the ego beliefs that are in your unconscious mind that are blocking certain areas of your life. Learn how to get connected with your inner guidance system. Learn how to live fearlessly.

Need Help?

Need help? I had to do this work myself, and let’s just say that I never want to go back to the way I used to be. I have this really cool online program where I teach you everything I learned so that you can get your life back too. Click here to learn more.

Many Blessings,

Dr JoAnn Tully

Mind-Body Doctor, Mindset Coach

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